Spontaneous Combustion

September 20, 2009


I’ve been thinking a lot about spontaneous combustion the last couple hours.

Like at 6:45 pm while standing in line at hideous Wal-Mart where I had to make a last minute run for pullups instead of starting dinner. (Hmmm, pissy bed in the morning or hot dinner the night before? Such are the daily guilt-inducing decisions every parent without a partner makes.)

With pink pull ups in hand (for some reason my oh-so-boy boy LOVES the color pink), Avery asks through tears why I wouldn’t ask anyone that worked there whether they sold Harry Potter glasses, even after we cruised through the toy department and saw nothing Potteresque.

Suddenly, in my mind’s eye, poof! There goes mom, a smoldering pile of ashes on the floor. Somehow that image was extremely satisfying.

And after we get home at 7:15 and are all ready to eat Honey Nut Cheerios for dinner—God, I can’t even get my shit together on the weekend–there is the bread, wide open on the counter for the third time today. “Marley, the bread,” I say.

“Poof!” again.

Don’t you think mom reduced to a pile of smoke and ashes on the floor might get the point across once and for all?

And at 7:30 pm Avery screams,”Mom, I think I have diarreha!”

Poof!

“Just sweep my ashes across the floor sweetie, and it should mop up just fine! Glad to be of service!”

Hmmm, I can see potential in this.

It’s certainly better than feeling the cold and lonely sting of doing it all by myself day after day after unending day.

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4 Responses to “Spontaneous Combustion”

  1. Flash Says:

    I will be there shortly.

  2. Elena Matveeva Says:

    Chris ,
    I am with you in my thoughts, always. Oh, I wish to help and be close to you. Merde, live is not easy sometimes. Keep up, you can, I know it.
    Love, Love, Love,
    Lena

  3. Suzanne Says:

    I really think you have a book in here. Seriously.

    • Crinny Says:

      Thanks, Suzanne. I have refrained from blogging the past month due to general chaos and b/c I’ve been feeling really whiney and I don’t want this to turn into a “poor me” venue.
      However, it is good to take notes about one’s state of mind, and you remind me that the thought has occurred to me that somehow there should be a book in this.
      Thanks for your encouragement!
      BTW, “This is Not the Life I Ordered” is on my bookstand as we speak! Thanks again for the copy. Inspiring. Let’s get together sister!


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